Helping an Anxious Child: A Gentle Guide for Parents

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve noticed something in your child that has you worried. Maybe it’s the way they hold back from playdates, or the quiet complaints of a tummy ache before school. As a parent, watching your child struggle with anxiety can feel both confusing and heartbreaking. You want to help, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to begin.

You’re not alone in this. Anxiety is one of the most common challenges children face. It doesn’t always look like fear or panic. Sometimes it shows up as silence. Other times, it manifests as stomachaches or meltdowns over socks.

In my work as a counsellor, I’ve walked alongside many families navigating this terrain. Today, I want to share five gentle, practical strategies to support your child’s emotional wellbeing—ways to meet them with love, curiosity, and calm.

Understanding Childhood Anxiety

Anxiety in children can resemble a multitude of emotions and behaviors. It often doesn't fit neatly into our adult perceptions. It’s important to recognize that anxiety can express itself in various ways: through withdrawal, frustration, or even physical symptoms. The first step in helping your child is to understand what anxiety might look like for them.

Notice the Little Clues

Children often lack the vocabulary to express, “I’m feeling anxious.” Instead, they reveal their feelings through their behavior. Here are some common signs to look out for:

• Worrying a lot about school, friends, or everyday situations.

• Avoiding activities like sports or sleepovers.

• Struggling with sleep, including nightmares or difficulties falling asleep.

• Complaining of tummy aches or headaches without a clear medical cause.

  
  

I once worked with an 8-year-old boy who dreaded going to school. He wasn’t acting out—he merely kept saying he felt sick. Over time, we learned that he was anxious about speaking up in class. Once we identified his fear, we could start addressing it together.

So, pause for a moment. Have you noticed any recurring patterns in your child’s behavior? Sometimes, simply naming what we observe can open the door to understanding.

An empty school hallway symbolizing childhood anxiety triggers

Keep the Conversation Safe & Simple

As parents, we often feel the pressure to fix everything. However, creating space for your child to express themselves can make a significant difference. Here are some ways to encourage open dialogue:

• Be available. Even if they don’t open up right away, quiet moments—like during car rides or bedtime—can create a safe atmosphere.

• Validate their feelings. Letting them know, “That sounds really hard,” helps them feel heard and acknowledged.

• Ask open questions. For instance, "What was the hardest part of your day?” or "If your worry had a color or shape, what would it look like?” can invite deeper discussions.

  
  

One parent told me her daughter opened up most during shared drawing time. Their conversations flowed easily without the pressure of direct eye contact.

Build Gentle Routines

Structure helps children feel secure. When life seems unpredictable, even simple routines can serve as anchors. Here are some strategies to consider:

• Check in daily. A straightforward question like, “What made you smile today?” during dinner can foster connection.

• Create a calming bedtime rhythm. This might include turning off screens, using soft lighting, and perhaps reading a story or playing gentle music.

• Incorporate movement. Activities like family walks or dance parties in the kitchen can help release built-up emotions.

  
  

Think of routines not as strict rules but as comforting rhythms. These rhythms help reassure your child: “You’re safe. Things make sense here.”

Teach Tiny Tools for Big Feelings

Children don’t require complicated strategies. They benefit more from simple tools that can assist them in the moment. Here are a few to try:

1. Belly breathing: Teach them to breathe in slowly, pretending to smell a flower, and breathe out gently as if blowing out a candle.

2. Feelings box: Fill a small box with comforting items—perhaps a soft toy, a calming scent, or a coloring book.

3. Change the self-talk: If your child says, “I can’t,” gently guide them to reframe it as, “I’ll give it a go.”

   
   

One child I worked with carried a “calm card” in her pocket at school. It featured soothing images of clouds and sunshine—her safe, comforting visuals. While it wasn’t magic, it provided her a sense of solace.

Know When to Reach Out

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, anxiety persists. This isn’t a reflection of your parenting; it may indicate that your child could benefit from additional support. Child counsellors, like myself, are trained to guide children through these feelings in a gentle, age-appropriate manner. We utilize play therapy, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and mindfulness—all tailored to your child’s unique situation.

If you're unsure whether it's time to reach out, ask yourself this: Is this anxiety interfering with their friendships, sleep, or learning? If the answer is yes—or even maybe—it’s perfectly okay to seek help.

A Final Word from the Heart

Helping a child with anxiety doesn’t mean removing all their discomfort. Instead, it involves walking beside them with steady love and support. It's about saying, “I see you. I believe in you. You don’t have to navigate this alone.”

As both a counsellor and a parent, I’ve implemented some of these very approaches with my own children—both younger and older. I understand firsthand how challenging and beautiful the journey can be. I also recognize the transformative power of a child feeling seen and supported.

With your presence, your patience, and the right tools, your child can not only learn to cope but grow stronger and more emotionally resilient. If you’d like to explore counselling support for your child or simply discuss whether it's the right step, I’m here for you. Feel free to book a free consultation or send a message—whatever feels most comfortable.

You’re doing better than you think. And your child? With your support—they’re going to be okay.

A vibrant children's library corner encourages emotional exploration and literacy.

About the Author

Josef (Yossi) Rozio is a registered counsellor and father of four. Through his practice, Mindful Reactions, Yossi supports children, teens, and families in navigating anxiety, emotional challenges, and personal growth. By blending professional expertise with lived experiences as a parent, he offers grounded, compassionate guidance to help others feel seen, supported, and empowered.