Who’s That Voice in Your Head? Understanding Your Inner Critic

You’re getting ready for a presentation or scrolling through your to-do list at 8 AM. Suddenly, a voice pipes up:

“You’re not ready.”

“Why do you always do this?”

“No one’s going to take you seriously.”

This voice isn’t screaming. It doesn’t need to. It’s quiet but cutting—sharp enough to sink into your confidence. Before you know it, your shoulders are tense. Your energy fades. A wave of self-doubt has arrived.

That voice? That’s your inner critic. And no—it’s not you.

What Is the Inner Critic (and Why Does It Sound So Real)?

The inner critic is a form of negative self-talk. It serves as a running commentary in your mind that pokes, prods, and questions your self-worth. For many of us, this voice has existed for years. It often forms through upbringing, societal concepts, or cultural messages that tell us love and belonging must be earned.

It might echo a parent’s high expectations, a teacher’s disapproval, or the weight of a society that equates value with performance. Over time, it becomes a default setting. So automatic, you may stop questioning it.

But you can. And you should.

The Cost of Believing Your Inner Critic

When we treat the inner critic as truth, we begin to live in its shadow. This shadow influences many aspects of our lives:

• We don’t apply for jobs that excite us.

• We silence ourselves in relationships.

• We overwork, overthink, and over-apologise.

  
  

Why does this happen? It's all about fear.

• Fear of failing.

• Fear of being too much.

• Fear of not being enough.

  
  

These fears are the roots of the critic. If left unchecked, that inner voice shapes not just our mood but also our choices, posture, and entire sense of self.

Why You Can’t Just Silence It

You might hear advice like, “Just think positively,” or “Tell it to shut up.” But anyone who has tried this knows—it doesn’t work. Why? Because the inner critic isn’t trying to hurt you. It thinks it’s protecting you.

Therapeutic approaches, like Internal Family Systems (IFS), suggest this part of you is scared. It learned, at some point, that being harsh keeps you safe—from shame, embarrassment, or being seen as less. This doesn't make the critic right, but it does mean it deserves compassion.

A Mindful Way to Handle Your Inner Critic

Here’s how to work with your inner critic—without judging it and without letting it lead:

1. Name the Voice

Consider giving it a name—“The Judge,” “Perfectionist Pete,” or “Anxious Annie.” This simple act creates psychological space. Remember, you are not the critic; you are the observer.

2. Notice It Without Becoming It

When the voice appears, take a pause. Reflect:

“Ah, there’s that old track again.”

Avoid thoughts like “I’m failing,” or

“I’m not good enough.”

Embrace just awareness. This practice embodies mindfulness, creating space between stimulus and response.

3. Respond with Curiosity and Kindness

Instead of resisting, try to get curious:

“What are you trying to protect me from?”

Often, the answer is rooted in fear—fear of rejection or not being accepted. When you respond with compassion, the critic softens. It relinquishes the microphone, allowing your wise self to take over. This part of you knows growth is messy and you’re still worthy, even amidst challenges.

Speaking to Yourself Like a Friend

You don’t have to drown the critic in unrealistic positivity. Instead, try saying things like:

• “You’re doing okay.”

• “It’s normal to feel nervous.”

• “This doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.”

  
  

Use the friend test: If it's not something you would say to a friend, it doesn't belong in your mind either.

✏️ Try This:

Write a letter from your future self—five years down the line, wiser and steadier—back to the you who’s struggling today. What would they say?

The Body Remembers the Critic Too

The inner critic doesn’t just communicate through thoughts; it manifests as bodily sensations:

• A tight chest

• A clenched jaw

• A sinking feeling in your belly

  
  

When you experience these sensations, place a hand on your chest. Breathe deeply and remind yourself: “I’m safe right now.” Your body can help ground you when your mind forgets.

You Are Not the Critic. You’re the One Listening.

The goal isn't to erase the voice. It’s to stop mistaking it for you. You are the one who notices, who chooses, and who grows.

In that space between judgment and compassion, you reclaim your power.

Journal Prompts 🖋

• When does my inner critic show up most?

• What is it trying to protect me from?

• What would my wiser self say in that moment?

  
  

About the Author

Josef (Yossi) Rozio is a registered counsellor, licensed NLP practitioner, and founder of *Mindful Reactions*

, offering counselling across the Central Coast, Newcastle, and online throughout Australia.

Using a foundation in counselling, hypnotherapy, and neuro-linguistic programming, Josef integrates evidence-based techniques with a warm, human-first approach. His work focuses on helping individuals reduce anxiety, quiet their inner critic, and reconnect with a deeper sense of clarity and self-worth.

Josef is passionate about guiding clients through personal transformation—blending modern psychology with mindfulness, philosophy, and practical insight. Whether in one-on-one sessions or group settings, he creates a grounded environment for people to explore meaning, reframe limiting beliefs, and build inner resilience.